#1460

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When i was about 16 my family decided to pack up and leave our nice little home in the country, and move to suburbia in another state. It wasn't just a random out of the blue pack your shit and bail! But it did, and always has felt kinda sudden.. Anyway...

Myself, being the oldest of 4, ended up leaving first so i could start the school year. Meanwhile the remainder of my family stayed behind to pack up, and finalize selling the house (or whatever..)

So for the first couple of months i stayed with my aunt and uncle, and grandparents (my grandparents had their own separate but joining little house).

It was pretty intimidating at first! Especially seeing i was only 16, from the middle of bum fuck nowhere (My home town had three roundabouts and no traffic lights... you get the idea lol}, and had a naturally timid and innocent demeanor anyway. Being thrown into this very new and bizarre place and being surrounded constantly by strangers, really threw me for a six! To say the least! I really felt like an alien on some strange planet! I mean.. I vividly remember it blowing my mind to find out there was a McDonald's just 5 min down the road! Macca's was a very rare treat i might get maybe a handful of times a year (if that!) if for whatever reason we had already made the hour long trip to town, where it was located.

I wasn't really "sheltered" i guess? As in my up bringing i mean. But anyone reading this that has experienced going from country to city, especially when all they really ever knew prior was country, knows what i mean.

So anyway... Sorry to drag on if i am! lol I'm really high.. (need to be to talk about this.) So yeah, I tend to be more inclined to be descriptive and yap on about crap that's irrelevant! Case in point. lol

As a youth, i was sexually active from a young age (with myself anyway) Jesus! I remember discovering masturbation! I think i was like 9 or 10? Defiantly not older then 11.

Holy shit!! I use to rub that thing so much! it was like someone told me there was a Gennie in there or something! lol Even still to this day my cock has a little bend in the end of it from tugging on it the same way too much! I use to be self conscious about it but turns out every chick iv ever fucked, that i was insecure enough to ask, said they liked it! Go figure.. lol

So, you could say at 16 i was very well versed in the masturbatory arts! If i got a dollar for every time i jerked it... Well... I'd have a fuck load of money! lol

So, a shy guy, in a strange place, knowing nobody..

I dealt with it at first but pretty soon i was sick of being suffocated with this daunting feeling of loneliness, confusion, and just overall shittyness! I was very much alone, and seeking comfort, and release. I remedied that the only way i knew how..

I didn't know about drugs then (thank god!} so i amped up my already amped up beating off schedule! I absolutely punished myself... (I'm talking like upwards of 10 times a day!)

Being very sexual, i found that lots of different things use to get me hot and bothered. To be expected i guess?

But what i didn't expect was just how much my stunningly beautiful aunt was going to flood my mind! She had the leading role in all my beat off fantasies throughout most of my teenage years! lol Still to this day she'll make an appearance from time to time.

She wasn't this model like bombshell or anything like that. She was, and is, very beautiful!

She had long blond hair that she always had looking nice, an unusually big mouth (i mean literally not figuratively) which were supported by these great big lips which she always had cherry red. She had a very "sporty" figure. she runs a lot and likes to keep in shape.

Probably about a B cup I'd say? Nice, but nothing special. And she had a pretty fucking spectacular ass!

As sexy as her physical attributes were, i think what attracted me to her the most was her emotional and mental demeanor. If that makes sense? I mean, just the way she held her presence in a room. The way she would talk to you, and engage with you. She just emanated this genuine feeling of love, acceptance, and understanding. She wasn't at all flirty, or seductive, in anyway. Hell, she even dressed somewhat conservatively (unfortunately! lol) She was a pillar of class! One of those, seemingly rare, beautiful people that wanted to make you happy just because it makes them happy. Thank god for those people!

So the fact that she was stunning physically, and mentally and emotionally. Plus I was 16, emotional, and addicted to cumming! Add that up with the fact that it was a rare and wonderful thing to even have a girl recognize that i existed! Well... I was in love! (so i thought anyway)

Having this elegantly beautiful women not just make eye contact with me, but talk to me.. And not just speak at me or tell me to do something, but really talk. Sit down with me when i got home and just blanket me with love!

That may seem a little odd but she knew i was having a hard time. She walked in on me once or twice crying.

Like a moth to a bug zapper! She was, at the time, a ray of warm light radiating through life's darkened storm clouds! A red rose in a field of shit! But i think most importantly she was, and still is, a constant reminder that good does exist in the world!

As far as our relationship went she was on the up and up. Her part was perfectly healthy. She just wanted to help and show love to someone she could see needed it. It was i who harbored any sexual and or inappropriate feelings to the situation.

Now for the confession part...

Just so it's clear, I'm not proud of how i behaved.. In the slightest!

But try to keep in mind i was sixteen at the time, and fucking insanely horny ALL the time! Really! using words to try and describe it does it no justice!

And i was really emotionally messed up from a life of extreme bulling, and abuse! It's amazing how cruel kids can be.

It may seem like I'm trying to justify my actions but I'm really not. I just want to do as good of a job as i can to describe my state of mind and being at that time. Which was confused, and not overly healthy to say the least! Those of you who need to point out fault and criticize will do so no matter what i say. So please understand and take into your harts these sincere words.

Opinions are like ass holes... Everyone has one, and they all stink like shit...

So go ahead and criticize and rebuke! Write it down on a piece of paper, role it up, and fuck yourself to death with it. Because no one in existence can know better then i the pure hate and disgust, and misery i harbored for myself for what i did to that beautiful person! And i have the scares on my wrists to prove it..

It took many years and therapy but i eventually learn t to accept what i did and forgive myself. So fuck your forgiveness if you don't like it!

Anyway..

So this extra bit of innocent affection and attention she had graciously thrown my way, could probably be compared somewhat to someones first time trying hard drugs. If you have ever smoked methamphetamine (please don't if you haven't) then you understand just how fucking incredible it is!! (initially anyway..) I really don't mean to advocate drug use.. but it is what it is...

So, like a new found narcotic, i wanted her with me, in me, around me! I just couldn't get enough of how good she use to make me feel! It use to blow my mind how she could make me feel, not just loved, but relevant?.. i guess? She convinced me every time we spoke that i mattered. That knowing how my day was, and what i was interested in somehow impacted her.

The night i heard her and my uncle fooling around... Well.. That kinda took what was going on inside of me to another level.....

The fact that my uncle and aunt fucked wasn't a real shock to me. The fact i could hear them through the door did a bit though! Up until that point I'd only ever heard my aunt talk nice, and reasonably polite. She would growl at my cousins when they were being little shits but it was pretty tame really. The words i heard her beautiful mouth utter absolutely blew my fucking mind up the wall!!! FUCK!!!! 2 minutes prior i was falling asleep on the toilet and then stumbling my way back to bed! When i heard some noise coming from my uncle and aunts room as i staggered by. I guess curiosity got the best of me, and i was compelled to have a closer listen to what they were up to. So i carefully placed my ear to their door and listened intently for what they were up to. And then i heard something that would impact me deeper than i would of ever even thought possible! My aunt proceeds to say, in the most sexiest way I'd ever heard anyone say anything! "I want to drink your cum baby! Please, I've been a good girl! Let me have your cum!"

I couldn't of been more awake if i had a gram of crack injected directly into my heart!!!

I came in seconds! This new side of her i was experiencing made my already hyped teenage sex drive... Well.. More so. lol

She said a heap of other dirty as things, but her pleading and obvious love she had for coping a load in the mouth and gulping it all down was the single most sexiest thing i have ever experienced! To this day!! Unfortunately it also gave me unrealistic expectations down the line as how much most women actually like swallowing! lol

But for whatever reason she thought it was the bees knees! I remember how sloppy and wet it all sounded when my uncle finally gave her her "reward" Jesus!

I busted 3 nuts while i listened to their dirty little escapades! I just squirted it all over their tile floor. then when they seemed done i quickly took my singlet off, moped up all my juice, and very carefully tiptoed back to bed. They didn't seem to hear when i flushed the toilet, but when my hornyness briefly subsided all i felt was shame and paranoia for what i did! But that was nothing compared to what i was going to do..

When i got back to bed i just laid there, full of wonder and amazement and disbelief at what i just witnessed! Then i thought about how much of a lucky bastard my uncle was to have her! To be the only one to give her her creamy treat! I was sooooo jealous!!

It was too much! I couldn't let my uncle be the only one who got to "feed" her.

And there in lies the root of my shame....

I always thought it was hot when chicks swallowed in porn, but i never really believed girls liked to do that. For any other reason then to make the guy happy anyway.

I'd lie there fantasizing about being balls deep in her. Then whipping it out just as I'm cumming, and imagine her slurping up every drop of my seed till she had her fill! (in my mind she never had her fill!)

The words I heard her speak, in that moment, were tattooed on my brain forever!

I convinced myself that she would love my cum but hated the thought that she would never get to try it!

I knew she was the devoted type. Unwavering to her commitment to my uncle! I was bummed out at the time but glad now she was that way inclined. I dunno? I guess my twisted mind thought for some reason maybe I'd have a snow flakes chance in hell to be with her if they weren't together!

I know right...

So, perplexed as i was, never getting to give her my cum was just not an option.

I don't know why but i just couldn't perceive, back then, just how wrong what i was going to do really was! In my mind it was only things like her being married to my uncle, and age difference, and stuff, that diminished the hope i had for one day turning my fantasies into a reality. Running her words threw my head over and over again! I knew she loved cum! I could hear the pure desire she had in her voice! She wanted it, no, needed it! And i "knew" she would want mine.. And so i decided then and there that she wasn't going to miss out.

Knowing how much she loved it i kind of felt bad that she was only gonna ever get to have one mans seed to enjoy for the rest of her life! But i, in my mixed up moment of charity, wasn't having a bar of it!

And so my sick little mind began to conspire...

I eventually fell asleep that night, but when i woke, it was a new, brighter day.

Scheming up ways to secretly feed my seed to my aunt was my new, and favorite pass time.

It wasn't as easy to accomplish as i initially thought. But all that did was make it more thrilling!

It took about a day or so to think up an opportunity that was worthy of our first fluid exchange. I mean, i could of rubbed one out into anything of hers i suppose. But i wanted to make sure id get to watch her eat it for the first time! eventually i did end up cumming in, and on anything and everything that could be ingested or applied! Oh my god! Over those couple of months i lived there i feed my aunt soooo much of my cum!

Embarrassingly, as much of a grotty perv as i was (and still am..) I genuinely feel like a maggot thinking as to how invasive, and disrespectful i really was being to her. Believe it or not tho, i just couldn't see that side of it. The absolute last thing i would EVER want to do would be to harm a single hair on her angel like head! To hurt her in any way, would have been my end.. In my mind i was DEEPLY in love.

This new slutty side of her i got to see was brand new! I felt deep emotions for her before that became a factor.

My goal was definitely not to hurt or disrespect her in any way shape or form.

I just wanted to be as close with her as humanly possible!

After racking my brain i came up with, what i thought was, an awesome idea! Every morning as part of her breakfast i noticed she always drank one of those little pro-bio tic drinks after her main breakfast. You know? i think "yak-ult" is a brand name for one of them? Even though she had some generic brand named one. I tried one once, made me think of cordial in milk! yuk! Anyway.. She loved them!

So the night before i grabbed 2 of them secretly and darted off to bed.

I opened one up and poured it out the window in my room. Then I let my mind be filled with thoughts of her amazing sexiness, and started frantically beating my dick, like it owed me money! Very quickly i came like a ragging demon and filled that little yak-ult bottle thing up with ease. It only took half my load to fill it up, so i just shot the rest on the ground in front of me. When i was done and had calmed down, I poured out about half my load and then proceeded to fill it up again with the other drink i had got. I figured she was very familiar with the taste, smell, and constancy of cum. So i didn't want to make it so blatantly obvious that what she was drinking sure as shit wasn't what was advertised on it's container! But i still wanted her to get that cummy goodness taste i knew she craved.

Once i topped up the yak-ult with actual ya-cult i very very carefully put the tinniest amount of glue around the rim. Just enough to re-seal the foil top. Once the glue dried i picked up, and thoroughly inspected my work! I was so impressed with myself! It looked legit as, like it was brand new! I gave it a good shake and gingerly placed it back in the fridge.

I darted back to bed, jumped under the covers, and punished myself several times to the thought of the event that was going to take place in just a hand full of hours.

I didn't get heaps of sleep that night but still didn't find it too hard to get myself out of bed! I got up and went straight for the kitchen, which was what i normally did anyway.

When i got to the dinning table my aunt and one of my nieces was already there eating cereal. My aunt greeted me with a big smile and a good morning like usual. Just seeing her beautiful smile was enough to make any of my mornings good.

Not long after I fixed myself something to eat my aunt finished off her cereal and washed up her bowl in the sink. As she made her way out of the kitchen she stopped at the fridge. My heart skipped a beat knowing what was about to happen! And just as i planed (i made sure my "special" one would be the one she would grab)she grabbed her little beverage, pulled back the foil top, and slammed it back like a shot of whiskey! I was in an absolute state of erotic ecstasy! Trying not to make my gawking at her too obvious, But that was a daily struggle anyway!

As soon as she slammed it back, she stopped for a second. I could tell she was a confused as to why this drink tasted a little different to the others. She lifted the empty container to her eye level and began to inspect it. Not seeming to be satisfied with that she grabbed the packet they came in and began to look that over as well. After a second or 2 of inspecting she just placed it back in the fridge, shrugged her shoulders, and closed the fridge door, to which she then mumbled to herself "Hmm.. That's odd...?"

I just couldn't resist! I blurted out to her "Whats odd?" Attempting to be as nonchalant as possible, knowing full well i was like a sexual volcano at that point! trying my hardest not to reenact Pompeii in my pants!

She says, casually, "Oh, i was just wondering why my drink tasted a bit different than usual?..

I checked the expiry but it's not out of date." She said holding a look of bewilderment.

"I don't think it was off tho?.. It didn't taste bad... Just a bit different.." While rolling her tongue around her mouth, trying to put her finger on just what it was she was tasting.

But then she quickly gave up, shrugged it off, put the empty container in the bin, and went on with her day like every other.

I thought i was going to pass out! I was light headed, and a little dizzy!

I put my bowl, as non frantically as i could, in the sink and then floated back to my room. I locked the door, and... well... you know.

That morning i had, to the best of my memory, the single most intense, overwhelming, eruption of an orgasm i have ever experienced, EVER!!!

I was quivering for ages afterwards! So needless to say, this new "drug" i discovered... well..

I was instantly hooked! I didn't know feeling that good was even possible! Unfortunately tho, I was also going to eventually learn just how evil, and destitute, a person can feel too.

Well, that's my story anyway. Like it, love it, hate it. I truthfully don't care. It's My experience that shaped a big part of my life up to now.

I've never told my aunt, and decided i never would. It would serve no good purpose to bring to light such things, other than appeasing my own guilt. And how ever much iv learned to forgive myself, i deserve to live with the remaining guilt and disgust of what i did, and will do so till my last breath!

I have no idea what divulging that kind of information would do to her emotionally?! And the risk of hurting her like that is unacceptable! Especially seeing as it is now, with her, i assume, clueless to my past activities. She's happy. Living a well deserved happy life.

In many ways I know I'm still in love with her, and deep down sad that she will only ever be mine in my dreams... But iv slowly learn t to deal with it and except it as reality.

I have felt for my few passed partners, one i even loved for a time. But they all pale in comparison, by a huge amount! I really try not to get too down in the dumps thinking about it but i genuinely feel as tho I'll never really have feelings like i did for her, for another person. Some days really get me down.. But most of the time i plod along through life making the best i can of it. life's not so bad these days.

Drugs (don't) help ;-)

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