Although I tell myself I'm not really cheating on my husband, I know I am. Last year for my birthday my cousin Trina gave me a gift certificate for what was called a "heavenly body therapy". I'm forty eight, married for 19 years and have three kids. That was the name on the window in a small strip mall only a mile away. I went in and was greated by a young handsome man (Gary), I think in his early thirties. I had never been to anything like this before and was taken to a small dressing room where I was handed a wrap around and told the first step was a sauna. Then I saw a second man (Brandon), also handsome and also about thirty. I was in the sauna for about twenty minutes and he gave me a clean wrap around telling me to shower and come into another room when finished. When I did Gary was standing there at a massage table and told me to lay down. He talked to me the entire time and the massage was wonderful. It was embarrassing at times since I knew my butt and breasts were exposed a few times but only by the way I rolled over or moved around. He often told me if I objected to anything he was doing to tell him. He said most of his clients are woman and they all have different views about modesty or how they want to be touched. He made it clear how he would never touch or expose me in ways I would object to. As he massaged me he mentioned some of his clients enjoy being naked and some enjoy full body massages. Again he made it clear it was up to the individual client. Well, I had never been so satisfied from a massage as I was that day. When I was leaving Brandon gave me a list of plans with the pricing for future appointments. Two weeks later I went back without telling my husband. It was about the same and Gary once again gave me a wonderful massage and I also enjoyed the sauna. It was so soothing I made another appointment that day for the following week. The cost is $145.00 which includes twenty minutes in the sauna and a one hour massage. I couldn't afford to go every week without my husband finding out so I opted to go every other week. Within a few months both Gary and Brandon had given me massages and both had the same things to say about what I was satisfied with. Brandon was the one who often asked if I wanted a full body massage but always mentioned it was up to me, the client. I finally asked what he meant by a "full body" and he delicately explained that I would be naked. Then he said that the buttocks and breasts would be rubbed down and that also the inner thighs would be massaged. Then he went on to tell me many of his clients are perfectly comfortable with it. Each time I went I was encouraged by them to have the full body massage but I was to embarrassed to do that. That is until about six months ago. That day Gary told me he didn't think I was a shy person and that he knows I would enjoy it. I was laying face down at the time and gave him permission to remove the wrap. As he did the only thought in my mind was what my husband would think about me letting this guy see me naked. Once he began massaging me all thoughts of my husband were forgotten. I never realized how good it feels to have my rear rubbed down the way he did it. I was embarrassed when he had me turn over on my back but only closed my eyes and let him continue. My husband is the only man who has touched my breasts since we were married 19 years ago. The oil they always use is warm and he started at my neck but by the time he began rubbing my stomach I became aroused. At one point he had my legs open and his hands were inside my crotch rubbing my inner thighs. He kept telling me if I objected to anything to tell him right away. I never said a thing but was so turned on I did eveything I could to act like I wasn't, but think he knew I was aroused. When he was finished I went in the shower as usual but for the first time masturbated there. As I left I made another appointment. Two weeks to the day I went back and again it was Gary giving me the massage. The conversation was very open minded and he actually questioned me as to whether I was embarrassed about my nudity. I told him I was at first and then he went on to explain how much more fulfilling a full body massage is. He did mention again it was entirely up to me as to the extent of the massage. I do think its humiliating at times letting these men see and touch me when I'm naked but its so soothing and such a turn on I bagan letting them do it everytime. When Brandon suggested I shave my pubic hair I worried what my husband would think about it. As it turned out my husband likes me to shave it even though he doesn't know why I did the first time. I must have had ten or twelve full body massages before the first time Brandon masturbated me. Now whether its Gary or Brandon I am not only massaged each time but also sexually satisfied. I often orgasm several times while laying there and no longer try to hide the fact that I am aroused. I try not to think about it as cheating on my husband and as time has pasted have less guilt about it now. I never touch them or have sex with them even though they are satisfying me. I spend $290.00 every month and so far my husband doesn't realize it. I try cutting corners on other spending I do and don't go shopping as often or spend a lot on new clothes like I used to. I've told no one about this and often masturbate with the thoughts of it. My husband and I have sex a couple times a week but over the years it has diminished some. I have faked an orgasm many times with him mainly if we have sex the same day I get my massage. Sometimes I just tell him I'm not in the mood and will only jerk him off or give him oral sex. I love my husband but so want to continue getting the massages. I know I'm a cheat but don't want to stop.