#2447

Submitted:

""

I'm 46 yrs. old and have never told anyone about my experience from the time I was 11 until I 19. My mother was very ill and bedridden at the time and died shortly afterwards. I don't remember my father and was told he left when I was 3. My mother gave guardianship of me to her best friend Vera, who I had known all my 11 years at the time and never had kids or was ever married. Three days ago we buried Vera and I can't help thinking about the 7 plus years I lived with her. Before I say the bizarre things that went on I have to say she was also very good and generous to me. When I did move away after joining the Army I always kept in touch with her and saw her as much as possible. In her will she left me her house a car and a sizable amount of money. At 11 years old I never thought to much about my nudity around her simply because she had babysat for me many times prior to me living with her. She was strict with me as far a school work and raising me but also treated me like a baby all those years. it all began with her obsessive need of cleanliness not just with the house but also of me. At 11 I admit skipping a shower or bath but that ended when I lived with her since she began bathing me every evening. When I say bathing me I mean she washed my body head to foot and would have me bend over to wash my anal area not to mention my genitals. It did embarrass me somewhat but after the first month or so I got so used to her doing it and seeing me naked I didn't have any problems with it. I have always been very light skinned and for that reason also she would rub in baby lotion all over my body once or twice a week. There was nothing sexual about it even when she rubbed the baby lotion on my penis, scrotum and anus. She seldom scolded me unless I deserved it and treated me as good or better than my own mother. As I got older I think I was so used to her seeing me naked I didn't have much thought about it. When I was between 12 and 13 I began taking a shower but Vera always insisted being with me in the bathroom obsessed with making sure I washed properly. She continued putting the baby oil on me once or twice a week and one night, I think a few months after I turned 12, I couldn't prevent getting an erection. It embarrassed me but Vera just smiled at first and for more than an hour we had a discussion about sex. She assured me it was natural for me to get an erection and I shouldn't be embarrassed about it. She never bathed me after that but most of the time was there when I showered and began putting the baby lotionl on me mostly twice each week. Every time she rubbed it into my penis and scrotum I got an erection again and that's when she asked and told me it was alright if I masturbated. Then after about 6 weeks of me getting an erection she had me admit I masturbated after she put the baby lotion on me. The following week as she did this I got an erection right away and she persuaded me to masturbate in front of her and I began jerking off with her watching me mostly twice a week up until I joined the Army. Once I moved out I began wondering if it could have been child abuse but the fact is she never jerked me off and in all those years I never saw her in anything less than a nightgown. Even when I was 19 I was not embarrassed at all when she saw me shower and when I think about it should have been humiliated when she rubbed on the baby lotion. I lay on my bed naked and let her put it on me and when she got to my genitals she would have me fully exposed to her. She not only rubbed it on my penis and scrotum but have me bend my legs up and put it all up the crack of my butt and on my anus. Buy that time I always had a hard on and I am sure she liked watching me masturbate. I have never even told my wife about this since she also loved Vera for years and I wouldn't want my wife to think badly of her. I know now Vera must have had some type of sexual thoughts pertaining to all of it but I never considered it being child abuse. It wasn't like she ever forced me to do anything sexual and for some reason it never seemed wrong. She did date a few men over those years but I doubt she ever had much of a sex life to speak of. Once I joined the Army and even when I got out Vera and I never spoke about it again. I know now it was probably some type of sexual outlet for her. Aside from her seeing me naked so often and touching me either by washing me or putting on the baby oil there was never any sexual contact between us. I also know now she was a very lonely woman who had few friends. When I think back about it all I am surprised at my lack of humiliation during those years. its obvious to me that she programmed me to a certain extent but I still have nothing but good thoughts about her. It became something I looked forward to then and think I enjoyed her watching me masturbate. She never said much as I was doing it accept sometimes asking me it felt good or would ask if I needed more baby lotion. I actually laugh about it sometimes since its such a crazy time in my life.

Comments are currently not available.