I think I have a poo fetish

when Im with my gf she pees with the door cracked open sometimes and I dont look out of respect, but shuts it when she shits. she doesnt know Id really enjoy watching (not touching it though. just like watching).

problem is when I hear the door shut and then hear her turn the sink on to silence any sounds, I get a strange anxious feeling which Im guessing is a fear of missing out. and it sounds silly but it drives me crazy. I sometimes will go in the bathroom right after her (quietly) and sit on the toilet and just masturbate especially if theres a lingering smell, although sometimes I see residue of hair spray on the seat so she tries to cover it up)

does anyone else have something like this? im afraid to tell her or anyone ajd personally if i could id like to learn how to not be so into this since it would just be easier.

even though ive had partners in the past that didnt care so much and let me watch (but they didnt know it got me off. they were just comfortable and didnt care if i was in the bathroom with them or not).