As I admit to my fetish I'm still not sure whatever made me have an obsession to male genitals, the control over the guy and my ability to arouse him. I am mesmerized as I watch how they react and surprised of how they allow me to stimulate them in what would be considered humiliating ways. My fetish includes having them at my mercy and the thrill I have watching as they ejaculate and how they respond. What's shameful about it is that I am a 54 year-old female divorced 20 years ago plus all of my men "victims" were and are young guys some as young as 22, the oldest being 41. I began doing this approximately 11 years ago and if my estimate is correct its been with 33 different guys over that time. Some I have only been able to control them for a few times and others for months and in a few cases over a year. Many have been to intimidated by me to continue others are so submissive all I have to do is call them. At present I have 2 young men I have here on separate nights Allen is 27 and Keith is 24. Most of these guys or men I have found on the internet and check them out on chat lines until I feel comfortable with them. Allan lives about a half hour away but Keith travels 130 miles every Friday night to have me dominate and sexually satisfy for my own satisfaction.

I am not what people consider a dominatrix because my only desire is to sexually satisfy these guys and I never, never have sex with any of them. I am never undressed in front of them although I only wear a nightgown but without a bra or panties. I do at times masturbate as I am servicing these guys but the sexual stimulation on them is all done by me in many forms. Many years ago I bought a padded table with stirrups which is where they are most of the time. A naked man in stirrups is not only humiliating for him but intimidating since their genitals and anus are totally on display. There have been a few who never came back after the first time and a few who only lasted 3 to 5 times. Right now Keith is the most submissive guy I have had for a long time and it seems I have Allan groomed the way I want. Aside from a light spanking I never subject them to anything very painful. What I do is control them sexually and dictate when they ejaculate. Over those years it is amazing how much difference there is in the reactions and how they move their bodies or the sounds they make. I don't want men who are not circumcised but have had 3 over the years and just find their penis disgusting. A reason I drop doing some is they are offended or dislike what I want to do with their bodies. Reasons for dropping me would be anal penetration, humiliation and lack of submissiveness.

Naturally the first step is having the guy strip and its funny how some still blush or show signs of embarrassment but not all especially if they have been here a few times. The most show of embarrassment or humiliation is when I get them into the stirrups and they are exposed like most men have never been. Most of the men I have done this with for long periods of time I have shaved their pubic hair. Some refused, I assume they were married even though they denied it. But let me get to Keith who I just had here Friday night and this is typical of how I treat or treated most of the other guys all these years. I have used many types of lotions since starting this but find a mixture of Vaseline and baby oil is the best. I first shaved him then began rubbing him from his penis to his anus with that mixture. Immediate erection but I don't jerk him off right away but play with his testicles while rubbing my finger from his anus, up his perineum to the base of his scrotum. I doubt there is a man alive who would not get hard with me doing this and I've had lots of practice stimulating their prostates. By this time Keith is under my control as I am slowly touching every private part of his body. He is aware by now what comes next because the sex toys are right on the table beside me. I start with a small dildo and as I rub his penis and scrotum gently and only slightly insert the dildo into his anus. True there were some guys in the past who wanted no part of that but most of them and Keith submit to it. Once they are at ease with this invasion of their rectum I get the penis shaped vibrator and penetrate them fully. Some of these guys have ejaculated with me only holding their penis and thats when I scold them. I intentionally wait until their penis gets limp then make them lay on their stomach to punish them for ejaculating to fast. That's when I spank them and like Keith I use a leather belt and although I don't hit them really hard I do until the cheeks of their butt are bright red.

From there I let them get a shower and then after a drink or 2 its back to the table where I start all over again. This time since they freshly showered is when I am comfortable performing oral sex for them. I stop and start and play with them in between. Again I invade their body with the vibrator and Keith and many guys before him are usually moaning with pleasure. Its rare when I can't get Keith or any of the guys to ejaculate at least twice the same night. I have recently been using anal beads inserted in Keith which he highly reacts to aside from the vibrator. I also have 3 butt plugs I have been using for a long time and most guys have submitted to them also. My arousal is so strong some nights I am masturbating myself as I'm sucking them. What they don't know is out of the 33 guys I have done most of these things to there are 22 that I have on video. As I watch these videos during the week I masturbate and succumb to numerous orgasms. Penis size in unimportant but I have never given oral sex to any that aren't circumcised. Its just the feelings I get by having such control over these guys and how they allow me to touch and penetrate their bodies the way I do. A number of them have asked me to disrobe and asked to have sex with me but that I don't do. I'm not proud of my figure anymore and just don't want them to see me naked. I've been online with a new guy for a few weeks now and what I want mostly is nerdy types that are easy to manipulate. For example both Keith and Allen are pretty smart guys but they are both introverted types and I know don't have many friends. This guy Thomas who I've been chatting with seems the same type. I always meet them first in a restaurant or diner before I have them come here. I tell them things online about what I want to do with them but don't think they believe me until I actually meet them in person. I never try to hide my age or my fetish for male genitals and its amazing how men like chatting about it online. I've probably chatted with hundreds over the years but many live far away or in another country. Right now I have Keith on Friday nights, Allen on Tuesday nights and my videos the rest of the week. The new guy Thomas looks promising but he to lives over 100 miles from here. Its a fetish I can't control but pick and choose guys I am convinced are submissive enough to allow me to put them on display and satisfy both them and myself. The sight of a guy laying naked in stirrups arouses me before I ever touch them. I like to believe that they have at least a hint of humiliation by how they are exposed. I do get an overwhelming sense of power, dominance and control along with the instant arousal.