I am a 27 y.o. petite, black female who has been sexually and physically abused through most of my twenties. I guess it stems from the fact that my mom and oldest sister were in odd relationships with guys that beat them up. By odd, I mean the guys they were seeing were much younger than them. My mom was 45 when she was seeing a 20 y.o. white guy who had beaten her up I think 3 times. My sister was 21 when she was fucking a Mexican boy who was only 15. I came home one day to see her naked and him on top of her punching her repeatedly in the face. He got off her when he saw me and ran out of the house but, I could tell he had been beating her for awhile. Her nose and mouth were bloody. She eventually had a black eye and bruises on her body.

My odyssey starts back when I was 18. I met a guy at my job and after a few months of hanging out together, we started officially dating. We dated for just short of 3 years when I found out he cheated on me. Then he left me for this other, older woman. I was incredibly heartbroken. He was my first true bf and I really loved him. At any rate, I went spiraling downward. I started drinking heavily to the point I would blackout, wake up the next day and not remember the night before. I also was talking to a lot of random guys to the tune that I would end up letting them get me drunk and then fuck me. This all came to a head one night that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

This happened a few months later of still basically "whoring around", I met this Mexican guy when I was working at a convivence store. He asked me for my number a few times and I finally gave it to him. We flirted on the phone a few times then he asked me to hang out with him on a Friday night. I went with him that night and we were really just driving around drinking and smoking some weed. Anyhow, we wound up at a park late and parked. We got out and was walking. He wanted to have sex with me but, I just wasn't to into him so I just said no. I just hung around to drink and smoke. But, he kept trying and then we started arguing about it as we were both high. He tried to hold me and I pushed him off me and then he got really mad and hit me in my mouth and knocked me down. He told me he was going to kick my black ass. He kicked me 2 or 3 times and then he got on top of me, pinned my arms to the ground and proceeded to start beating me up really good. After he was finally done kicking my ass, he got under my dress, pulled down my panties and started fingering my pussy. Then he pulled out his cock, shoved it inside and started fucking me. He hit me some while screwing me. He finished by cuming inside me. After he got off me, he spread my legs and kicked me in my pussy. He got in his car and left me there.

I don't remember how much time passed but, this grungy looking white guy came along. We looked at each other and then I asked if he could help me. I told him I had just got beaten up and raped. He just looked at me and said, nigger, this just ain't your lucky day. He then kicked me in my face and then my ass. After that, he got me on my stomach and then forced himself in and fucked me in my ass. He finished by cumming in my ass. After a few minutes, he got off me. He must have saw what happened to me earlier because he said, nigger, if you think that bean eating spic fucked you up, you ain't seen nothing yet bitch. He picked me up and slammed me to the ground. He stomped my stomach and then kicked me repeatedly in my body. Then he got on top of me and began hitting everywhere on my body and in my face. When he finally finish beating the shit out of me, I think he dragged me behind some bushes and left me there. I say I think because, the next thing I remember was waking up in that park when the sun was coming up. I managed to walk to a local store where the clerk asked what happened to me. I told her and they wanted to call the police but, I just asked them to get me a ride home and I will take care of it from there. My mom and I called the police and told what happened. They did arrest the Mexican kid and he was convicted of battery and rape.

Over the next 2 years, I really thought I had my life in order. I was 24, I stopped dating and went to school and got my AA in education. I then got a job as a tutor with a tutoring service. However, the next 2 years would find me in an abusive relationship.

I got an assignment to tutor a high school 10th grader named Eduardo. He was a 15 y.o. Mexican but, he was not your typical small Mexican boy. He was 6 2, about 185 pounds, very muscular and really good looking. When I saw him, I just said to myself why couldn't he be older. He was on his high school varsity football team. His grades were good already but, his coach didn't want him to become ineligible because he lost track of his school work. He was thought to have a very promising future playing football. He lived with his mother and his little sister who was 13. Anyway, we started our sessions that were twice a week. The first month or so it was a typical tutor/student interaction about the lessons. Little by little, we started having regular conversations. For being so young, he was very charming. To skip a lot of details, even though he was my student and only 15, I found myself attracted to him. He then asked me for my phone number and, against my better judgement, I gave it to him. But I just said he could only call me for education purposes however, we both knew why he asked for it. We started flirting over the phone and then one day after a tutoring session he asked me to go out with him to the movies. He had just turned 16 that week so, I said yes. So we made the date for that Saturday night as he had a football game that Friday night. I came that night to go out with him. I dressed up really nice, a nice white dress, stiletto pumps, nails done, etc. That's how attracted I was to him. When I got there, we were alone as his mom and sister were out. We were in his room and we started talking and then a little flirting and then we kissed for the first time and kept kissing. One thing led to another and we were in bed together and I let him fuck me for the first time. It was the first time I had been fucked since I had been beaten and raped. After he got done fucking me, we went the movies as planned.

Over the next 3 weeks, when I wasn't tutoring him, I would go meet him at his school after his practice and spend a little time with him. We would fuck when we got the chance. As time wore on, Eddie told me that his mom asked him is something going on between us. His mom was an alcoholic but, she paid attention to stuff. She actually texted me to come see her on a day when I wasn't tutoring Eddie and he was at football practice. I went there and sat with her and she was drinking. She asked me if I was dating Eddie. I said of course not but, I could tell she didn't believe me. Then she said "just because I like to drink don't mean I don't know what goes on under my own roof. I don't care if Eddie fucks you even if he is underage. You are pretty and my boy is very handsome so, I can understand why the 2 of you would want to date and fuck each other." She asked me if I knew that he fucks his sister and I was shocked that she knew. I knew he did because we had a 3some one time even though she was only 13. Then she told me she knew about our 3some as well. I was stunned when she told me she knew. She said she didn't mind because as long as he and her daughter were at home, she knew they were safe from harm out on the streets. While she was talking she was holding my hand. She then took me to her room and started explaining to me that Eddie can be very violent. That their family has a history of men beating women. Eddie's dad used to beat her up, his grandfather used beat his grandmother, her 2 brothers, Eddie's uncles, beat up their wives or gfs. Eddie had also beaten up his previous gf.

While this conversation was going on though, she was seducing me. She was feeling on my legs. She was aggressive. She asked me did I want to have sex with her, I just looked at her and she started kissing me and rubbing my pussy. I asked what if Eddie or Letty (that's Eddie's sister) comes in and she responded "either one would probably take off their clothes and join us, especially Eddie." I asked, you would let your own son fuck you? And she said under the circumstances, YES!!!!!!! She then laid me on the bed and went down and ate my pussy until I came. She then went to her drawer and got a strap on dildo and proceeded to get on top and fuck me. After we finished and I was leaving, she reminded me that Eddie can be really violent. That should have told me to get out of this relationship but, I didn't. Soon, I was about to experience the violent side of Eddie.

One Saturday night, we went to one of his teammate's house where he was giving an unsupervised house party. It would be the first time he beat me up. There was underage drinking going on and Eddie was starting to get drunk. It was getting late and I wanted to get him home before he got too drunk. We were outside in the back yard and after a couple of times of asking to go, I told him that if he didn't leave with me now, I was going to leave without him and he could get his own ride home. He like grabbed my arm and said "bitch, you ain't going nowhere" and he slapped the shit out of me. So hard, I fell down to the ground. He got on top of me and started punching me in the face. A couple of guys finally pulled him off me. I got up and started running into the house but, he caught and tackled me to the floor. He started hitting me again. A few girls were saying stop hitting her but, nobody really did anything to stop him. I think everyone there was afraid of him. He then got off me, grabbed me by my hair, said "I'm gonna kick your black, mother fuckin ass" and pulled me into a bedroom, locked the door and he beat the living shit out of me. He slammed me against the wall face first. He threw me into a dresser. On the floor, he kicked me several times. He then got on top of me and hit me over and over and yelling at me. After he was finished, I was a bloody mess. He got a towel and cleaned me up a little, then he made me drive us to his house. His mom saw me and asked what happened and we said some girls at the party jumped me and beat me up. She looked at me and I knew she knew Eddie did this to me.

Every time he beat me up, he always apologized afterwards and said he wouldn't do it again but, like all abusers, he did. I actually was in love with Eddie, even though he was only 16 and I was 25 by this time. That's why I kept going back to him.

He was getting angry more frequently and quicker. One of his teammates told me that he was taking steroids and that was one of the reasons he so was violent. One time, him and his mom were arguing and I guess she told him that me and her had sex that time when she called me to come see her. One night after we went on a date, he beat me up because of that. Saying that I cheated on him with his own mother. One time, I let him and 5 of his teammates fuck me kinda to make up for having sex with his mom. He wanted me to do it again and I refused so, he kicked my ass for that. One other time he wanted me to fuck him and one teammate and I said no but, him AND his teammate beat me up and then fucked me. After about nearly 2 years and about 4 or 5 other beatings I took, I told him I was through with him, and like always, he said he would change. This time though I meant it. So, I guess as his parting gift to me, he really beat the fuck out of me one last time.

I never called the police on him because I didn't want them to find out I was having sex with a minor and I always hoped he would he see how much I really loved him. I haven't seen him in over a year now. He has graduated high school and in college now from what I heard. As crazy as this sounds, I miss him. I know I may sound pathetic but, I can't help how I feel for him. We had a lot of good times together. I don't really hold any resentment to his treatment of me. I just hope he's doing good. He is a really good young man with demons. I hope he doesn't beat up any other girls like he did me.