I admit it sometimes I masturbate and thinking little boys but I get horny with adults. I see children only emotionally . I think I could fall in love with an innocent and handsome little boy but not sexually , the same with an adult . These feelings for children came to me suddenly at my 22 years old . Now I am 23 and I think these feelings came cause I want so much to be a child again . I like to watch movies and series with children , I like to listen opera from little boys in church and in general I like to listen them singing , l like to hear their high sweet voice , I like to hear stories about children and I like stories that shows the power of children , I like their innocence on sex . I like everything that is childish , fairytales , childish movies , candy , cartoons , playground , trabolin and other stuff that are childish . I would like my body was like when I was little girl , without chest , without hair on my body , more white skin with more cuteness on my face and more happiness in my soul . Then I was for more comfortable than now in everything . I am getting sad when I think that everyone including myself is growing up. I would like it if we were all children forever , I am depressed because I want to be a kid again . When i was 18 years old i was talking on facebook with a 12 year old boy and we were talking so nice about everything . We saw only once each other in person when i was 20 and him 14 . His mother was there with us too . I start to feel emotionally connected with him . It was so cute until when he became 15 and me 21 his mother didnt want her son talk to me anymore and now he doesnt like me and block me in every account i tried to connect with him . He said that he felt empty without me and that i was his best friend and now i suddenly dont matter to him ? I was sad and angry at the same time because when i told him that i feel close to him and i like to talk to him i meant it . I have not spoke with him until 24 April 2016 . Feeling this way can be difficult . It's difficult cause I feel inferior from other adults . I am childish I know maybe it's not normal cause I must behave like an adult . I miss the innocence of children , this is what I like so much about them . I would like to see the world from a child's eyes . I would like an adult to take care of me . And if I knew a preteen boy has this need too I would like to help him . If I met an childish adult with childish soul and look like myself I would liked it. If I was not depressed and was happy inside i would easily imagine myself play with children , listening childish music together . going to a childish theatre together . Dont go your mind somewhere vulgarity , i want to be with children as friends . But i found out that children now days starting behave like they are older their age . God this is repel me so much ! I feel more ''child'' that children now days . Little girls want to grow up fast and become women and little boys want to grow up fast and become men . Though they should be happy for being kids and so beautiful like angels and play and run happily in playgrounds and watch cartoons with an innocence in their soul . Once a 9 year old boy when i put him to listen a childish music or watch cartoons told me ''these is for babies'' , can you believe this ? a 9 year old told this to me . Sometimes i want to save these children , to protect them and make them children again cause i feel like a child but with more rights than the ''real biological'' children .