I feel so weird about this and I just need somewhere to vent it. I am 19 and live with my dad and brothers. Last weekend we were driving to my grandmother's house for her birthday. It's an hour and a half drive. My dad's car is small and fuel efficient so there isn't a lot of space. We were also taking my cousin with us. My dad drove there and my cousin sat passenger (she is pregnant). Me and my three brothers at in the back. I am the smallest so I sat on my brother's lap all the way there. To be clear, nothing sexual happened with them. They are older than me and with them it was just a normal ride. I know you're not supposed to ride like that but there was no other way. We live in a city with good public transportation so none of us have cars. My dad is usually the one driving people around.

We get there and have a good time. I don't feel comfortable adding my personal life into this. My brother drove us back and my cousin sat in the passenger seat. Me, my dad, and my brothers sat in the back. I sat on my dad's lap. I have no history of being sexual with my dad. I don't have any incest fetishes. I don't even like older men, so this did nothing for me. I was just sitting on my dad's lap and we were riding through backroads. My brother's don't drive often and feel more comfortable riding on backroads so the drive back was 40 minutes longer and through hilly, bumpy areas.

Every now and then he would ask me to get up and he would readjust. I noticed something pressing into me but my mind didn't jump to "that's his dick," I just assumed I was sitting on something in his pocket. His dick is the last thing on my mind. When I realized it was his dick, I didn't make a scene. I thought about switching to my brother's lap or something but I didn't want to make it weird. I didn't think he was being some gross guy. It's just a natural thing that happens...

He wasn't being weird and grinding into me and I could tell he was actively trying to keep it from touching me but it was touching me. So I just stuck it out. I was not turned on at all by this situation. I just felt awkward and didn't want to bring it up.

When there was 15 or so minutes left of the ride, we hit a rocky patch and dad groaned and said "sorry," and I just replied with a questioning look. I didn't think about it. It didn't even cross my mind that he came. When we pulled to the house, my brothers and my cousin got out and I tried, but my dad held me there gently. It wasn't like forceful and I wasn't scared. He just didnt want to get out yet.

Once my family was about halfway to the house, he let me out and said "sorry" again. He was looking at me. I didn't know there was dried cum on my shorts and my thigh skin. I didn't know he had came in his pants. I was just looking him in the eye. This whole thing went over my head.

But, when he went into the trunk and told me to wrap his sweatshirt around my waist, that's when I noticed his crotch area. I can't even describe what it looked like beyond just "wet." Honestly, it looked like he pissed his pants or something, but it clearly wasn't that. If that were the case I definitely would have noticed. It was just SO MUCH cum. It had seeped through his boxers and his sweatpants and onto me.

I checked my ass in the sideview mirror and it wasn't nearly as bad as my dad but there was dried bits of cum on my left thigh and shorts. The cum on my ass/pussy area was still kind of moist.

I rushed upstairs to my room and took off the shorts and panties, then jumped into the bathroom to shower myself completely. When I saw his huge cum mess on his pants, my first reaction was repulsion but after some time and thinking about it, I'm kinda turned on.

Is that wrong? I've never been into incest but this just turned me on and I haven't been able to shake it. I didn't really address the feelings until I was alone in the shower and I just thought about how my dad's cum was on me and how I made my dad cum on me.

Ngl I used to judge the incest people. Every porn or erotic story these days is like sister suck in the washing machine or mommy pleasing her sons and I always thought it was gross. But I'll just be honest because none of you know me here. I was thinking about fucking him in the shower. I was imagining if he just walked in, opened the curtain and fucked me in the shower. It just hit me and I felt and still feel ashamed of it.

When I got back to my room I took the shorts out of the hamper and just looked at them. They were fully dried but I just was looking at my dad's cum. I felt so weird and like I became a whole different person. Like I felt like I accessed a new way to feel pleasure or something.

I'm not a kinky person. I enjoy vanilla sex. I like missionary, I like riding the guy, and I like giving and receiving head. I've never had elaborate fantasies. The extent of my fantasy is a guy I like sleeping with me. This whole thing is a whole lot of weird and the reason I came here... to find out if I'm fucking weird...

That felt good type out. I dont know.